Weve all had relationships that weve looked back on and thought, What was I thinking? Problem is, you werent thinking. You based your decision strictly on chemistry and first impressions, and in the words of Elvis Presley, Thats when your heartaches begin. Would you like to make better choices in the future? This is your lucky day.

Imagine you have an empty wall over your sofa and are looking for the perfect piece of art to fill it with. Lets make believe theres a gallery in town that is known for having great paintings. Theres only one problem. All of their artwork is covered up except for one small corner. If you decide you like something, you can either buy it without seeing what the whole thing looks like, or you can go back each week as a bit more of it is revealed. Do you get where Im going with this? Most people fall for a corner of the painting and immediately decide this would be the perfect piece of art for a wall that has been bare for far too long. Instead of returning each week to the gallery to learn a bit more, they make up their mind on the spot and only weeks or months later when the cover is off do they see what they are really dealing with.

I doubt anyone would ever buy art in this fashion, yet that is exactly what youre doing when you first meet someone and either instantly or within days or weeks decide you want them to be your partner. Youre only seeing a corner of the painting. If you had waited to see what the rest looked like, you may have chosen to move on instead.

Whats the solution? When meeting someone new, your motto should be, SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE AND ILL DECIDE WHERE YOU FIT INTO MY LIFE, IF ANYWHERE. Instead of trying or hoping to have someone in your life, let the person show you who they are, by their words, actions and non-actions. Then you can decide what category to put them in.

Lets say youre looking for a committed relationship. You meet someone and at first everything seems great. Then they start to become unreliable, dont call when they say they will, cancel dates, show up 2 hours late, are verbally abusive, etc. Youve just been shown that they are not to be taken seriously. If youve already brought them home and placed them on that empty space above your sofa (your heart), it will be more difficult to walk away, than if you had just gone to the gallery each week to see who they were. Ce nest pas?

There was a guy that had been trying to get my number for several months, but I wasnt interested, so I didnt give it to him. One day he mentioned that he had been tanning at a friends pool. I thought it might be fun to go with him sometime, so he gave me his number. I called on a Saturday afternoon, to see about going on Sunday. Well, this guy that was so interested in my number beforehand, didnt call back. When I saw him the following Monday, I said, What happened? You never called back. He responded, I had a crazy weekend. Does that mean he couldnt find 5 minutes to call back? I doubt it, but it did show me who he was and if I wasnt interested before, I was even less interested now.

Let people show you who they are and then you can decide if they fit into your life.